A Brooklyn Christmas Story

   Twas da night before Christmas, Da whole house was mella,
   Not a creature was stirrin, Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla.
   When up on da roof I heard somethin' pound,
   I sprang to da window, To scream, "Yo! Keep it down!"

   When what to my wanderin' eyes should appear,
   But da Don of all elfs, And eight friggin' reindeer!
   Wit' slicked black hair, And a silk red suit,
    Don Christopher wuz here, And he brought da loot!

    Wit' a slap todare snouts, And a yank on dare manes,
    He cursed and he shouted, And he called dem by name.
  "Yo Tony, Yo Frankie, Yo Vinnie, Yo Vito'
   Ay Joey, Ay Paulie, Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!"

   As I drew out my gun, and hid by da bed,
   He flew troo da window and slapped me 'side da head.
   "What da hell you doin' Pullin' a gun on da Don?"
   "Now all ya gettin'is coal, ya friggin' moron!"

   Den pointin' a fat finga right unda my nose,
   He twisted his pinkey ring, and up da chimney he rose.
   He sprang to his sleigh, obsenities a screamin'.
   Away dey all flew, before he troo dem a beatin'.

   Den I heard him yell out, what I did least expect,
  "Merry Friggin' Christmas to all, and youse better show some respect!!"